Thursday, October 31, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....

The name on his Mother's gravestone read...Maria Scianna (Mary of Shadows)
But there was no human remains interred here.
The casket held a skeleton of a Jackal, and his Father's name was Lucifer!
From the eternal sea he rises/
Creating armies on either shore/
Turning Man against his brother/
Till Man exists no more/.............

Could this be some sort of.....Omen?
If you or anyone you know is The Anti-Christ, or has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment.....Then BOOK!!
So from the most Apocalyptic host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Happy Halloween Y'All.....

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

We all know MY favorite Treat
Five and Five on Spider Webbed Feet
Halloween is the time for Fright
See you at 8 PM This Thursday Night!

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Vampires Live Forever...?

SUPPOSEDLY......Cassandra Peterson  aka Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, just
turned 62. Really? The top picture was taken in 1960 in front of her new Caddy!!
And there is documented proof that she was the original "Mistress" to our 29th
President Warren G. Harding. She's the reason Mrs. Harding poisened him in the
first place. Rumor has it that she used to bang Ben Franklin!!!
Maybe there is something to this 'Vampire Business' after all.....Stay tuned.

Monday, October 28, 2013

And The Colored Girls Go......

Well I guess He had to crash, Valium would have helped that bash..... The Godfather of Punk, passed away today at age 71, R.I.P....Lou

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....

I was just dozing off, when I heard a loud THUMP!
I sat straight up in bed, flicked on the light, and Freaked Out!
Standing at the foot of my bed was...The Ghost of Dr. Watson!

"Dr. Watson, why are you haunting me?"

'IDIOT.....I'm NOT a Fictional character, I'm Chester Allen Arthur!!!!

Hey....Don't blame me for this being so weird, I don't tell ghosts who they can or can't haunt!
If you or anyone you know is a dead president or has a written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell the G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!
So from the most EXCLAMATORY host from coast to coast!!!
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

Greetings Everybody !!!!
As you are reading this I'm on my way to the great Commonwealth of Virginia
for a long Kick Ass Week-End. Yesterday I found this Fortune Cookie in my desk
so I thought I might see what my future has in store.
Hmmmmm....... It seems it would behoove me to be Dashingly Dressed at ALL times!
I hope to see everybody right here, on Thursday 8:00 PM EDST.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Don't Be So Crabby.....!!

This is the Crab Apple tree next to my house.
Because of last years crappy Spring and no apple crop,
this year there is a bumper crop of apples and pears!!
Notice that there are NO apples on the ground or the lower branches?
Thats because about 5 deer come in every morning about 5:55 AM and
scarf up all that they can reach. After the snow flies, I've seen them on their
hind legs trying to reach the unfallen apples on the higher branches.
(The deer are like Rats around here).

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....

'License and registration please. Mr. Christ, do you know why I pulled you over'?

"Of course Officer, I'm Omniscient"!!

'Well, according to this, you have a restricted license.'

Jesus then stares intently at the Officer and smiles. Suddenly the Cop turns, climbs
back onto his boat, and leaves.
The Lesson?.......Never look directly into The Son!!!

My old English Teacher used to say....2/3rds of a Pun......P  U.......
If you or anyone you know has stared at Jesus, or has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment.....Then BOOK!!
So from the most Omniscient Host from coast to coast.....
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

There are absolutely NO subliminal 55 messages anywhere in this picture.......
Something smells awfully Fishy around here!!

Very low commenting activity in Bloggerville this week. I sure hope I get some players
come Thursday Night 8:00 PM EDST. I get lonely sometimes.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

It's Coming......

Hi there Big Boy.
Halloweens just a couple of weeks away.
Have you been Bad?
Really? Just how Bad?
Bad enough to feel the sharp sting of Leather on your ass?
Come a bit closer, Betty's got something for you....WHACK!!!!!!
Whats that? May you please have another one?......WHACK!!!!!
Now run along, and try to get into some more trouble......I'll be waiting.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Try It You'll Like It!!

Say it's a cool Autumn day, and you have a pot of Chile simmering on the stove.
During that long agonizing down time when the house smells FABULOUS and
you are just sitting around waiting...waiting....and waiting.
Whip up some easy to make corn muffins. BUT.......
Add your own special touch.
Instead of milk, substitute Creamed Corn.
Add a chopped Jalapeno pepper, and some Red Bell Pepper and chopped fresh
Chives for added color and flavor.
Grate about a cup of your favorite cheese. I used Hot Pepper Cheddar, then blend in.
Bake for 20 minutes at 400 degrees.
MMmmmmmmm...... If I can do it, YOU can do it!!
I just don't have it in me to talk about the Govt, or Ass-Holes today...Sorry.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....

What if.....Your local Meteorologist was a Poet?

"Your hiatus KILLS...My azure dome of tranquility.
The voltage builds, the electrons sweep
The wicked smiles, the revelers weep
HELL....Is on the wing!
I wait, quivering. Not with desire, but with despair. My loyal aide-de-camp..."

Forecast: Mostly cloudy with a chance of severe thunder storms.

Hmmmmm... I'm sure we all know folks like this, don't we?
If you or anyone you know is poetic, or has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment.....Then BOOK!
So from the most tranquil host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

Dobroye Utro Comrades!!!
In honor of Sputnik's 55th Birthday, I've donned my finest Russkie items...
My wind-up Rocketa watch that keeps perfect time, and my Back In The USSR Beatle tie.
And I hope to see you all on Thursday Evening 8:00 PM EDST (NOT Moskva time)
Do Svidaniya Putana's..........

Monday, October 7, 2013


Here's my question of the Day......

Which pic represents America's BIGGEST Asshole?

You may also give me YOUR nomination if there is one.....:-)

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....

He: Greek?  Tonight only?

She:  Yeah.....Greek!

He:  Darling, (Sigh) after months of waiting, I'm finally going to realize the object
of my obsession..(chuckles lasciviously)

She:  Enjoy... these moments don't come around very often Buster!

He:  I know, just let me languish for awhile in this one...Tonight, it's all about Uranus!

She: ......Tonight ONLY!!!!

The Greeks are known for two things, and this ain't about yogurt.....
OK....On October 3rd the planet Uranus is visible to the naked eye.
Something about the position of the planet, AND the position of the Sun.
And of all of the planets in our solar system, Uranus is the only planet named after a Greek!
If you or anyone you know is Greek, or has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!!!
So from the most Star Gazingest host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

1.) Walk on with a cooler labeled "Human Head" on the side.

2.) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead muttering" Shut up, all of You. Shut up!

3.) Crack open your briefcase and whisper into it.."Got enough air in there?"

4.) Stand silently in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off!

5.) Greet everyone that enters with a firm handshake, and ask them to call you...Admiral.

6.) Meow occasionally...

7.) Bet the other passengers that you can cram a quarter up your nose..

8.) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then shout out in horror, "You're one of THEM"

9.) Wear a puppet on one hand, and use it to talk with the other passengers.

10.) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

11.) Announce in a Demonic voice..."I must find a more suitable host body"!

12.) Say....."DING". On every floor.

13.) Say..."I wonder what all these do". Then push all the red buttons.

14.) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

15.) Grin at a customer for a long time then announce..."I have new socks on today"

16.) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask..."Is that your cell phone?"

17.) Try to make a personal call on the emergency phone.

18.) Draw a little square on the floor, then announce..."This is MY personal space"!

19.) When riding with only one other passenger, tap them on the shoulder, then look away.

20.) Push the buttons, then pretend they give you a shock.

21.) Ask to push the button for a new arrival, then push the wrong button.

22.) Call the PSYCHIC HOTLINE from your cell phone, and ask them if they know what
floor you are on.

23.) Hold the door open and say you are waiting for a friend, then after a while let it close
and say.."Hi Greg, hows your day been?"

24.) Drop a pen, then wait until someone reaches to pick it up then scream.."Thats MY pen"!

25.) Bring a camera, then snap everyone's pic on the elevator.

26.) Move a desk onto the elevator, then ask all that enter if they have an appointment.

27.) Lay down a TWISTER mat, then invite people to play.

28.) Lay a box in the corner, then ask everyone if they hear something ticking.

29.) Pretend you are a Flight Attendant, and review emergency exit proceedures with everyone.

30.) Ask...."Did you feel that?"

31.) Stand really close to someone...sniffing them occasionally.

32.) When the doors close, you loudly shout..."It's OK, they open back up again soon"!

33.) Swat at flies that don't exist.

34.) Tell people that you can see their Aura.

35.) Make race car noises when the elevator is moving.

36.) Shave.

37.) When at least 8 people have boarded, start moaning and say, "Oh no, Motion Sickness"

38.) Frown and mutter..."Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say..."oops"!

39.) Show the other passengers a wound, then ask if it looks infected.

40.) Leave a box between the doors.

41.) Wave your hands wildly at invisible gnats.

42.) Start a Sing-A-Long!!

43.) Flatulance....The SBD kind.

44.) Do Tai Chi exercises.

45.) Flatulance....The Loud and Proud kind.

46.) Carry on a blanket, then clutch it protectively.

47.) If anyone happens to brush up beside you, recoil in horror and shout..."Bad Touch"!!!

48.) Sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" while continually pushing the buttons.

49.) Bring a chair along.

50.) Lean against the button panel.

51.) While the doors are opening, whisper loudly..."Hide it Quick"! Then whistle innocently.

52.) Call out...."Group Hug"! Then inforce it.

53.) Try and teach everyone...The Macarena.

54.) Pretend you are horking up a Loogie, and have no Kleenex!!!

55.) Compose a story with a central character and a plot, in EXACTLY 55 words, post
it on your blog, then come tell The G-Man on Thursday Night 8:00 PM EDST......